Dr. Pat Allen

Getting to "I Do"

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Boardwork

Pat Allen’s boardwork during the Orange County Seminars

The greater explanation of these things are found within the seminars themselves and her books. In particular, look at “Getting To I Do” and “It’s a Man’s World and a Woman’s Universe”. This is just a summary.

Pledges

  • Relationship pledge
  • Magic Wand
  • Acceptance
  • Women over 40
  • Men over 40
  • Masculine energy women and men
  • Feminine energy women and men – 1
  • Feminine energy women and men – 2
  • Feminine energy women – 1
  • Feminine energy women – 2
  • Flirting with Mr. Wrong
  • Knowing what enough is

A picture of all people on earth

Channel a Feeling Rationally

Emotional versus Rational Talk

Emotional
DO NOT USE THE FOLLOWING		Rational
USE THESE
I/You should,
ought,
must,
have to		I want/do not or I want you to
I can’tI want or do not want,
I will or will not
I would like/wishI want or do not want
I will tryI will do it unless __________
May I? or Can I?I want to _____ may I? or Can I?
Would it be alright?
Would you mind?
Would you like?
Could we?
Let’s _______		I want _____. Do you want?
I needI want
Why? (defending thoughts or feelings)What are your/my reasons?
I am sorry or I apologizeI made a mistake and I do not want to do it again
(excuse me or pardon me are ok)
I feel thatI feel sad, mad, jealous, happy, etc. OR I think that

Five Curses of Mankind (drivers), and their cures (allowers)

  1. Be Perfect
    Be Excellent
  2. Try Harder
    Enough
  3. Hurry Up
    Work Easy
  4. Please others 1st
    Please self 1st
  5. Be Strong
    Be Open

Four Angers

  • Frustration
  • Resentment
  • Denial
  • Indignation

Four Phases of Death

  • Denial
  • Barter
  • Anger
  • Resignation

Four Styles of Men and Women

  • Major sex organs and how the sexes are attracted to each other…
    • Women hear what they want, and they do this by duty dating. Duty dating is when you date three people for three dates each. Why three dates? So you can hear $$ and status.
    • Men see who they want to have sex with.
  • Men have Yang bodies, but Yin souls. There is not a woman on earth as sensitive as the inside of a man.
  • Four Styles of Men
    • Monk
    • Peter Pan
    • Sugar Daddy
    • Real Man
  • Women have Yin bodies, but Yang souls. There is not a man on earth as strong as the inside of a woman.
  • Four Styles of Women
    • Nun
    • Wendy
    • Claw
    • Anchor Woman – her major job is to say “NO!” to immoral, unethical and illegal stuff.

Yin and Yang Systems

Yang Yin
Energy
Compete Passive
Conquer Patient
Coontrol Vulnerable
Action
Give Receive
Protect Be Available
Cherish Respect
Intention
Maleness Femaleness
Mentally Well Physically Well
Money – Sex Relationships

Setting the Limen

  • The Limen can be set 3-4 minutes before you go to sleep and 3-4 minutes after you wake up
  • There is a part of you that has all the windows which consists of the below and sends down pictures and words.
    • Taste
    • Touch
    • See
    • Smell
    • Hear
  • There is a part of you that has all of the buttons and responds to those pictures and words with dreams.
  • To set your limen the night before, make a list of Yin (fun) things and Yang (work) things to do for the next day before you fall asleep.

Appointments

Making an appointment is for when we leave our normal areas (left lobe for men, right lobe for women). For example, women have a inexplicable right to bitch and moan about things which come from their emotions. Men have an inexplicable right to teach and preach. However, when we switch roles, women teaching and preaching or men bitching and moaning, we run into a problem. This is the time to make an appointment, when….Women want to:

  • Teach
  • Preach
  • Bitch
  • Moan
  • Question

Men want to:

  • Bitch
  • Moan
  • Teach
  • Preach
  • Question

My “Self”

Relationship Contract

The contract below is used to negotiate during the 6-9 month phase of the relationship. The items to negotiate are time, space, money and play (non-sexual and sexual) and are discussed further below.

  • Time
    • I
    • We (the two of you)
    • Us (the two of you plus anyone else)
  • Space
    • Live Together
    • Maintenance
    • Chores
    • Pre-nup
    • Closet space
  • Money ($$)
    • My
    • Yours
    • Ours (How it gets paid: 50/50; on a percentage basis; or something else you work out)
  • Play (Non-Sexual)
    • I don’t want you _________
    • We
    • Us
  • Play (Sexual)
    • I don’t want you _________
    • We
    • Us

Phases of a Relationship

  • 0-3 months, perfect phase. Nobody burps, nobody farts.
  • 3-6 months, imperfect phase. Uh oh, somebody burped or farted.
  • 6-9 months, negotiable phase. Are you compatible? You find out by negotiating the contract below.
  • 9-12 months, commitment phase.

Relationship Types

  • The three styles of relationships
    • Convenient
      • Two independent poeple (I + I) bring social/financial security and sensual/sexual security for a joint venture in the world (Us).
    • Codependent
      • Two dependent people (? + ?) symbiotically come together (We) to face a fearful world (Us).
    • Covenant
      • Two independent people (I + I) negotiate a mutual interdependency (We) for a greater GOoD and become a balanced unit in the world (Us).

Who Chases Who

Masucline (the Sperm) chases the Feminine (the Egg) and they negotiate for:

  • Monogamy (Sexual and Social)
  • Continuity (at least once a week)
  • Longevity (heading towards mating or marriage)

Three things for intimacy:

  • Chemistry (Lust)
  • Compatibility (Like)
  • Communication (Love)